cant go anywhere but stay home & rest rest rest oh how boring == i felt sick & vomited afterwards & had stummy pains :( hopefully i get to go out to see philong & watch a movie with him. bichs party nxt week. mums leaving on wednesday :( & im going rainforest soon :D yayy. cant wait

2moros the day. this thing inside me will no long stay. i will be strong and let it go away. no matter waht happens i will stand tall and try my hardest not to fall. i will never forget thiss.. 18th of january ; i love you & dearly never forget :)

ohh whatta nightmare. i hope i dont get to attached to it.. i know i will never forget it. it will always be apart of me. but i have no choice but to let this go .. :(

Remember those walls i built, well baby they're tumbling down. & they didnt even put up a fight, they didnt even make a sound. I found a way to let you in but i never really had a doubt. Standing in the light of your halo ; i got my angel now.
Its like i've been awakened, every rule i had you breakin', its the risk that im taking ; i am never gonna shut yu out
Everywhere im looking now im surrounded by your embrace, baby i can see your halo. you know your my saving gracee.
Your everything i need and morreee, its written all over your face. Baby i can feel your halo, pray it wont fade away.

I can see your halo.
I can feel your halo.

Hit me like a ray of sun burning through my darkest night. your the only one that i want and im addicted to your light. I swore i'd never fall again but this dont even feel like falling. Gravity cant forget to pull me back to the ground again.

i reckon being unique and original is something that applies to me quite a bit. i have feelings and secrets within though i dont want to reveal. but being unique is really different. i want to try and accept others reaction because i shouldnt care lol ( dont ask me why i started talking about this i dont know why i just dont know what to talk about :] ) i dont really like people who tag or follow others. i mean its okay to try something new to yourself but complete copy another person is a huge different thing. it just shows that you dont have that much courage to find the person within yourself that you gotta disguise as a person you wana find inside you. and i really dislike ppl who take things seriously. i get picked on alot by my friends and i just always laugh it off. its not good to stay angry at the world ; your missing out on alotta life if you do. even though sometimes i do get annoyed but im allowed too lol. they do it so much that when im really tired or have my period, anything that gets me off easily and they pick on me.. i would probably laugh it off but if they continously do it i get real annoyed. but i love my friends. i love my life. and mostly i love my boyfriend :) & lately i havent been paying attention to those other ppl in my life that doesnt really matter. i stay by my true friends and family (.. sometimes lol ).

oh shes so cute lol. just another one of my image idols hahahhs !

ahhhh assignments finally all donee ! i havent been blogging lately cos of school work & cos i cant be fcked and have better things to do then yeahh.. this lol. its currently 12:47am and currently really cold lols. i was txting philong & put the fone on silent but then got so caught up with my english i forgot about the txt >< & he fell asleep :( and now that im finished i wana talk to himm.
how can my love for a boy be so great ? its ridiculous how much i find myself in love with him. when i wake up i immediately check my phone just incase i've missed a msg. When i fall asleep his the last person i say goodnight too. and without his goodnight my mind is not convinced. When im asked to go out its always him i bring along. When im cold its his teeshirt i put on. When i eat a pie i find myself placing the tomato sauce in his initials. my love for philong is great. i would never find this kind of happiness with another guy. there are different types of happiness. & the one im feeling is different kinds mixed in one. Its more of a safe feeling. I feel safe with him. Usually when i date someone i would feel insecure about their ex's and friends. But with him its different. I know he cherishes me more then he did to his ex. & even though his girl friends are flirts, i dont mind really. because i know that he would never do anything to hurt me. his & her break up was over something stupid i guess. but no matter how stupid it is ; its worth it. cos hes mine now. i cant believe i was about to give him up. how stupid of me. he was what i wanted. but now he is what i need. & is what i got :) i will always stand by him holding his hand and heart in mine. Its stupid how ppl say ; if theyre happy i am too. cos thats truly a lie.

Philong i am now yours ; & i want to be always.
& even though only time will tell ; with you,
I can feel as if im standing next to forever in my heart ;)

okay at my party basically everyone was gone besides nok & emily. the boys got caught being in my room & mum didnt do much so they left. all i cared about while i was drunk was my carpet. i was crying to my carpet :S cos there was drink stains on it. & when philong left i chuck a sook cos he was MEANT TO STAY ! anyways yeahh day was okay. couldve been better cos i argued with philong that night & ended up crying & rararara. but yeahh all good now :) of course its all good we love each other.

schools been killing me. im FAILING MISERABLY ! D+ on geo exam D on geo assignment. D+ D D+ on chem. C+ C C on maths C+ on english & B B C for maths assignment ( best outta all ). i gotta put my head in it seriously. im pretty lucky its just mid semester. i gotta make my grades go up.. who knew senior could be so hard :( IN REDBANK ( shithole ). & now in english im doing a speech & i HAVE TO pass that one. not just cos im failing but you seriously HAVE TO pass it. or else you fail the whole year of english. i know. whatta kinda shit are they tryna put us thru --'' but thats the way school rolls.

On ipswich show day we got a day off. i went to philongs house :) spend some time with him there & had heaps fun lol. we were cuddling then started to fight each other lol. he started to tickle me & i fully smashed him & i won cos i told him i punched him in the face 3times already hahahs. then he pulled me out of the balcony & tried to pull my strapless top down so everyone could see --'' lol but hes so cute. PHILONG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH !

lanas ball party was alright. it was good cos every girl looked so gorgeous ! & i mean it. they were all dressed up. me & roxy were talking that night saying just imagine if we had a semi-prom at our school. how MAD would it be ?! but the night us asian girls made friends with the aussie chicks. which is good. since were all in senior ; all the grudges we held against each other should all be long gone. those silly year 8 fights and arguments should be forgotten & all should be friends :) & thats what happened. at least now at our formal nxt year, i'll leave knowing i knew everyone lol. but yeahh didnt do much at lanas party besides talk to others. hang with philong here & there. take pictures. dance & act like losers & left at like 10ish.

think philong is moody cos i didnt get to see him for 2days :( & i was meant to go to his family party thing in sunnybank but my parents didnt allow it ><>

so amazing how i can fall in love with someone so much. i know you all might think oh shes just saying that rarara but i think its kinda stupid myself. i dont know how i can like someone so much in such a short period of time, im literally crazy for him. i always want to be by his side & see him. i truly do love him so much <33

( cont. of the week )
24/04 - amys birthday today. went to school with philong lol & he beat me to texting her a happy birthday first lol. school was the usual. dont really remember much =/
25-04 - saturday. i wanted to spend a day with philong but culdnt cos him & his family went to the coast. he asked for me to come but there was no seats left in the car :( anyways so spent the day at home. then i dont remember what happened after that LOL. oh i went to eat with family. its been ages since we had a family day out. but it was nice i guess.

oh im so sick of this lol. do this some other time --

CONTiNUE ~
26/04 - so me & anna were meant to go SHOPPiNG with our mums today but annas mum was too busy & my mum didnt wana go alone. so me & anna got all our school group to go eat yum cha along with tammy :] it was a pretty awesome day actually. we got there & screwed yum cha. half of us were broke anyways hahahhahas. we took sticker photos with the boys for the first time lols. we then wanted to check out a movie at southbank cos it was cheaper so we got there by bus & on our way walking we saw a teacher =O outta all the ppl in brisbane city we meet a teacher hahahas i dont know who he was cos i never had him before but he was the indian one lols. he was with his family. anyways we left home early and i went to philongs house. he sneaked me in again but when he did his auntys car came in the driveway & saw me >< me ="D" her =")">< oh wells. meeting philongs family was worth it :]
27/04 - so school today was pretty normal. i dont really remembered what happened but yeah philong came to MY place & slepted over. hahahhas we keep coming over one anothers houses. but i really enjoy being alone with him :] i love him so dearly its crazy hahas
28/04 - woke up around 7am to walk to school & on the way me & philong were laughing so much hahahhas cos i nearly tripped & he was paying me out so much. & then we were planning all of the pranks we were gona play on the others at my party on the upcoming saturday hahahas. he wanted to fart in my face first thing i wake up --'' whatta dirty one lol. but was funny & cute. chemistry is fully pissing me off. what we learnt today was easy cos it was basically maths ! but all the other things i have in store for me when it comes to chemistry is gona screw me up bad --'' i hate it so much. oh & then got home & had work. talked to the chef david like i always do lol. hes pretty madd. i dont wana quit cos hes there and i know he wuld be pretty upset if me & anna quit ; so were staying for while.
29/04 - today we got a day off yayy ! it was cross country & no one is our group wanted to go school so stayed home LOL talk about lazyy. amy anna philong & me were meant to go together to get our learners but philong culdnt come in the last minute cos his parents wuldnt give him his bank card so he got really angry. i went to see him to calm him down & becos i missed him lols. we watched americian gangster & then had a lil unhappiness-yy thingy with each other but he sorted it out. & then he didnt want me to leave but i had too. cos it was a SCHOOL night. & he also had to go footy training. so i promised i'll come back tonight .. & i did :] stayed there watching some wierd asian scary movie about dolls. it wasnt even scary. the dolls looked pretty so how was that scary ? & plus i didnt understand what they were saying cos it was in japanese lols.
30/04 - so we woke up early this morning but i was so tired. i slepted all the way till 9something & philong told his mum that we'll arrive at school later on. so when i woke up it was only us home. so the first thing i get when i wake up was philong making fun of me lols. we layed in bed for awhile cos it was pretty cold. cuddling him ^^ & then he went to have a shower while i went to get ready for school. then we locked up the house & started walking. Philong then called his mum & she sed she culd drive us to school since shes on her way home. so we got back to the house, sat outside talking about school till she came. she dropped us off at school & it was the start of major break lols. we werent planning to come that late but i guess we did. & omg i remember in maths while writing down the date that it was my daddys birthday !! but when i got home i totally forgot >< ! i feel pretty bad but on my birthday he took me to centrelink & told the ppl i was 16 that day but never got happy birthday from him either lols. so were even dad ! i had work today also & thank GOD anna came in. cos we had this dine in & i hate doing big dine in by myself. got home & slepted. cos was so tired.
01/05 - pinch & a punch for the first day of the month. lols i didnt get any of those. david brought me in a cake todayyy for my birthday at work. it was nice as ! it was half double choc strawberry swirl & half strawberry cheesecake. omg i loved the chocolate one lols. had strawberries on it =D i love fruit on cream cakes.
02/05 - omg today was the day of my birthday party lols. i woke up at 9 & started cleaning the house. my sister helped me so i thank her for that. i cleaned the pool even though we didnt swim & then went to collect my cake & i admit it looked pretty good. but didnt taste THAT good --'' disappointed lol. i dropped a piece of cake while handing it out. it dropped on my thigh lol & onto the porch >< hope dad doesnt get angry if theres ants everywhere lol. anyways my mum was pretty nice that day lols. anyways we ate hotpot then cake then all the girls got ready to go buddhafest lols. but we didnt end up going. becos cant be fcked. we had to catch two separate taxi's cos all maxi cabs were booked out. anyways no one wanted to go with me & phil in one car but we had the maddest taxi driver lols he was talking about buddhafest & religiion & cultures. & wen we got there we didnt have to wait for long for a train cos a footy game was playing tonight & everyone was going to watch it lols. when we got there we met up with the asian crew LOL was so big. i thought only jason & nammy was tehre. jason gave me my bdae present ( $150 davidjones gift card ) then gave me my bdae card & i laughed ! it was a fat man. but he got all the boys & girls to sign it which was swweeet as. we then went to cindys thing & sed happy birthday & went.

ohs i gotta go. finish next time :)