i havent even been blogging for a long time. so like, things have happened here & there. like nga going on my blog & taxing my poems ... ? i didnt even think she would READ my blog. anyways, ive changed out of geo & chem so thats all good, at least i'll pass most of my subjects :) im so cold atm ! was sports day today ; my first time going to one lol. it was alright but since i didnt do any event i just walked around & watched others & cheered. it got pretty boring so me & philong left back to his house :) nothing to really do these days.. so boring. going out is gay. that reminds me i just started to work at minh's place with her :) i dont like the boss but oh well, who can complain. im there for the money & thats it. i really need it. well im off to keep warm. so fucking cold --''

in english were learning bout poetry and i've recently been caught up on one of my old habits when i was younger & that was going thru beautiful poems. even though the ones that catch my heart arent written by famous poets but they are beautiful in my way lol.

We think about it,
sing about it,
dream about it,
and lose sleep worrying about it.

When we don't have it,
we search for it;
when we discover it,
we don't know what to do without it,
when we have it,
we fear losing it.

It's a constant source of pleasure and pain
but we can't predict from one minute to the next,
which could be today.

We love our parents,
our brothers and sisters,
our boyfriends and girlfriends,
our cats and dogs,
our comfortable shoes
and our baseball gloves.

Love
- It's a short word,
easy to spell,
difficult to defind,
impossible to live without.

rip - mj.

so holidays have beeen okay here & tehre so far. mostly boring. & my baby philong left to go sydney for 3days this morning which isnt okay :( i gotta admit even 3days is going to kill me.
so on wednesday me phil & bich went out ; it was pretty boring ayes. didnt know what to do but go around & round shopping & shit
on thursday i suprised philong by showing up at his house lol.
on friday took my sister out to see her friends while i went off with philong. we came back home & did ALOT of walking around here & tehre. but it was good since the suprise i found out was that he was leaving the nxt morning :( he tried his best to stay but he couldnt. his dad wouldnt let him :(
& here it is ; saturday & im home alone all bored. mum is coming back on thursday so thats good i guess. kinda miss her since living with dad is a certain kinda hell --''
nga's sister, annie, is holding her wedding a week from today. i hope we can attend, havent been to a wedding yet so hopefully.

oh & the sad news of michael jackson's death ; my opinion is that a time just before his death, there was a phase where everyone accused him of molesting & all these terrible things. the world forgot about him for awhile ; they didnt care. his fans would slowly lose the shine in there eyes as they see him, the people would slowly lose thier respect for him. All of a sudden, as it was all over the news that michael jackon, the king of pop, had passed away - everyone would freak & cry. then just like that - all of the respect, worship & sympathy that the king of pop once had, regained. I think that the only reason all this regained was because the people felt bad for once putting him down. but why does it matter now ? how does he know that hes respected to the world again when hes dead ? i admit that i had been making jokes about him when he was alive, till the day i found out bout his death i was so shocked. but no doubt as i know - & everyone else ; michael jackon was the best leading entertainer in the media industry, & will never be forgotten.

Rest In Peace - Micheal Jackson
.. long live the king of pop ..

transformers without the ending.

holidays are so boring boring boring boring. the only good bit is SLEEPING IN ! so went to watch transformers the other day & didnt even get to finish it ! had like the ending left ! probably 15mins left & friggin grumpy ass dad chucked a fuss & i had to leave the cinemas --'' but it was a good movie. the robots are so funny. & the megan fox is so hott ! shes so pretty. i wish i culd look like her lol. i wish i was fit like her too. and i wish i culd be in a movie with the main cutie in transformer twice !! anyways nothing to say ; stuck at home. was meant to be out today but philong had work, so changed it to tomoro. he took of work to see me =D yayy ! cant wait. anyways laters x

omg longgg time lol. i havent really been busy just net has been disappointing me & started to become BORING ! well its nearly holidays =D hope it goes all good. mums nearly back. shes rather annoying on the fone always reminding me the same shit over & over like i lost my memory every 2 seconds. dad is the worst thing lately. we've been arguing & it just doesnt stop. the best times we've had would be the silence in the car after the arguements & fights. oh wells. i kinda not like talking to my dad. even though sometimes RARELY we have our next to good moments. anyways, friends friends friends. they've been alright besides bich. im pretty worried about her, got a pretty big concern about her. but i think shes okay now. so school, lets mention my school grades. well im pretty happy with my maths B results, B+, A, B so B overall. Health was A-, C, C- oh i wasnt so happy about the drop from A to C but overall its a B so im pretty happy. English i got a C- !!! NOT SO HAPPPY ABOUT THAT HUH ! but oh well.. a pass is a pass. & chem.. E, E, D+ someone tell mr clarkson that the plus on the D does NOT make me feel any better lol. Geo ; well marks havent really came back from geo due to our assignment being dued on teh first week back from holidays, but the exam ahhas no need to say i failed taht one miserable.
i got a meeting with the guidance counsellor tomoro for subject change. im changing out of geo & chem ; my two worst failing miserably subjects. Chemistry is suicidal i tell you --'' i mean who the hell sits around to find out a weight of an atom ? yu cant even see the bloody thing !
anyways, hopefully catch up later xo

cant go anywhere but stay home & rest rest rest oh how boring == i felt sick & vomited afterwards & had stummy pains :( hopefully i get to go out to see philong & watch a movie with him. bichs party nxt week. mums leaving on wednesday :( & im going rainforest soon :D yayy. cant wait

2moros the day. this thing inside me will no long stay. i will be strong and let it go away. no matter waht happens i will stand tall and try my hardest not to fall. i will never forget thiss.. 18th of january ; i love you & dearly never forget :)

ohh whatta nightmare. i hope i dont get to attached to it.. i know i will never forget it. it will always be apart of me. but i have no choice but to let this go .. :(

Remember those walls i built, well baby they're tumbling down. & they didnt even put up a fight, they didnt even make a sound. I found a way to let you in but i never really had a doubt. Standing in the light of your halo ; i got my angel now.
Its like i've been awakened, every rule i had you breakin', its the risk that im taking ; i am never gonna shut yu out
Everywhere im looking now im surrounded by your embrace, baby i can see your halo. you know your my saving gracee.
Your everything i need and morreee, its written all over your face. Baby i can feel your halo, pray it wont fade away.

I can see your halo.
I can feel your halo.

Hit me like a ray of sun burning through my darkest night. your the only one that i want and im addicted to your light. I swore i'd never fall again but this dont even feel like falling. Gravity cant forget to pull me back to the ground again.

i reckon being unique and original is something that applies to me quite a bit. i have feelings and secrets within though i dont want to reveal. but being unique is really different. i want to try and accept others reaction because i shouldnt care lol ( dont ask me why i started talking about this i dont know why i just dont know what to talk about :] ) i dont really like people who tag or follow others. i mean its okay to try something new to yourself but complete copy another person is a huge different thing. it just shows that you dont have that much courage to find the person within yourself that you gotta disguise as a person you wana find inside you. and i really dislike ppl who take things seriously. i get picked on alot by my friends and i just always laugh it off. its not good to stay angry at the world ; your missing out on alotta life if you do. even though sometimes i do get annoyed but im allowed too lol. they do it so much that when im really tired or have my period, anything that gets me off easily and they pick on me.. i would probably laugh it off but if they continously do it i get real annoyed. but i love my friends. i love my life. and mostly i love my boyfriend :) & lately i havent been paying attention to those other ppl in my life that doesnt really matter. i stay by my true friends and family (.. sometimes lol ).

oh shes so cute lol. just another one of my image idols hahahhs !

ahhhh assignments finally all donee ! i havent been blogging lately cos of school work & cos i cant be fcked and have better things to do then yeahh.. this lol. its currently 12:47am and currently really cold lols. i was txting philong & put the fone on silent but then got so caught up with my english i forgot about the txt >< & he fell asleep :( and now that im finished i wana talk to himm.
how can my love for a boy be so great ? its ridiculous how much i find myself in love with him. when i wake up i immediately check my phone just incase i've missed a msg. When i fall asleep his the last person i say goodnight too. and without his goodnight my mind is not convinced. When im asked to go out its always him i bring along. When im cold its his teeshirt i put on. When i eat a pie i find myself placing the tomato sauce in his initials. my love for philong is great. i would never find this kind of happiness with another guy. there are different types of happiness. & the one im feeling is different kinds mixed in one. Its more of a safe feeling. I feel safe with him. Usually when i date someone i would feel insecure about their ex's and friends. But with him its different. I know he cherishes me more then he did to his ex. & even though his girl friends are flirts, i dont mind really. because i know that he would never do anything to hurt me. his & her break up was over something stupid i guess. but no matter how stupid it is ; its worth it. cos hes mine now. i cant believe i was about to give him up. how stupid of me. he was what i wanted. but now he is what i need. & is what i got :) i will always stand by him holding his hand and heart in mine. Its stupid how ppl say ; if theyre happy i am too. cos thats truly a lie.

Philong i am now yours ; & i want to be always.
& even though only time will tell ; with you,
I can feel as if im standing next to forever in my heart ;)

okay at my party basically everyone was gone besides nok & emily. the boys got caught being in my room & mum didnt do much so they left. all i cared about while i was drunk was my carpet. i was crying to my carpet :S cos there was drink stains on it. & when philong left i chuck a sook cos he was MEANT TO STAY ! anyways yeahh day was okay. couldve been better cos i argued with philong that night & ended up crying & rararara. but yeahh all good now :) of course its all good we love each other.

schools been killing me. im FAILING MISERABLY ! D+ on geo exam D on geo assignment. D+ D D+ on chem. C+ C C on maths C+ on english & B B C for maths assignment ( best outta all ). i gotta put my head in it seriously. im pretty lucky its just mid semester. i gotta make my grades go up.. who knew senior could be so hard :( IN REDBANK ( shithole ). & now in english im doing a speech & i HAVE TO pass that one. not just cos im failing but you seriously HAVE TO pass it. or else you fail the whole year of english. i know. whatta kinda shit are they tryna put us thru --'' but thats the way school rolls.

On ipswich show day we got a day off. i went to philongs house :) spend some time with him there & had heaps fun lol. we were cuddling then started to fight each other lol. he started to tickle me & i fully smashed him & i won cos i told him i punched him in the face 3times already hahahs. then he pulled me out of the balcony & tried to pull my strapless top down so everyone could see --'' lol but hes so cute. PHILONG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH !

lanas ball party was alright. it was good cos every girl looked so gorgeous ! & i mean it. they were all dressed up. me & roxy were talking that night saying just imagine if we had a semi-prom at our school. how MAD would it be ?! but the night us asian girls made friends with the aussie chicks. which is good. since were all in senior ; all the grudges we held against each other should all be long gone. those silly year 8 fights and arguments should be forgotten & all should be friends :) & thats what happened. at least now at our formal nxt year, i'll leave knowing i knew everyone lol. but yeahh didnt do much at lanas party besides talk to others. hang with philong here & there. take pictures. dance & act like losers & left at like 10ish.

think philong is moody cos i didnt get to see him for 2days :( & i was meant to go to his family party thing in sunnybank but my parents didnt allow it ><>

so amazing how i can fall in love with someone so much. i know you all might think oh shes just saying that rarara but i think its kinda stupid myself. i dont know how i can like someone so much in such a short period of time, im literally crazy for him. i always want to be by his side & see him. i truly do love him so much <33

( cont. of the week )
24/04 - amys birthday today. went to school with philong lol & he beat me to texting her a happy birthday first lol. school was the usual. dont really remember much =/
25-04 - saturday. i wanted to spend a day with philong but culdnt cos him & his family went to the coast. he asked for me to come but there was no seats left in the car :( anyways so spent the day at home. then i dont remember what happened after that LOL. oh i went to eat with family. its been ages since we had a family day out. but it was nice i guess.

oh im so sick of this lol. do this some other time --

CONTiNUE ~
26/04 - so me & anna were meant to go SHOPPiNG with our mums today but annas mum was too busy & my mum didnt wana go alone. so me & anna got all our school group to go eat yum cha along with tammy :] it was a pretty awesome day actually. we got there & screwed yum cha. half of us were broke anyways hahahhahas. we took sticker photos with the boys for the first time lols. we then wanted to check out a movie at southbank cos it was cheaper so we got there by bus & on our way walking we saw a teacher =O outta all the ppl in brisbane city we meet a teacher hahahas i dont know who he was cos i never had him before but he was the indian one lols. he was with his family. anyways we left home early and i went to philongs house. he sneaked me in again but when he did his auntys car came in the driveway & saw me >< me ="D" her =")">< oh wells. meeting philongs family was worth it :]
27/04 - so school today was pretty normal. i dont really remembered what happened but yeah philong came to MY place & slepted over. hahahhas we keep coming over one anothers houses. but i really enjoy being alone with him :] i love him so dearly its crazy hahas
28/04 - woke up around 7am to walk to school & on the way me & philong were laughing so much hahahhas cos i nearly tripped & he was paying me out so much. & then we were planning all of the pranks we were gona play on the others at my party on the upcoming saturday hahahas. he wanted to fart in my face first thing i wake up --'' whatta dirty one lol. but was funny & cute. chemistry is fully pissing me off. what we learnt today was easy cos it was basically maths ! but all the other things i have in store for me when it comes to chemistry is gona screw me up bad --'' i hate it so much. oh & then got home & had work. talked to the chef david like i always do lol. hes pretty madd. i dont wana quit cos hes there and i know he wuld be pretty upset if me & anna quit ; so were staying for while.
29/04 - today we got a day off yayy ! it was cross country & no one is our group wanted to go school so stayed home LOL talk about lazyy. amy anna philong & me were meant to go together to get our learners but philong culdnt come in the last minute cos his parents wuldnt give him his bank card so he got really angry. i went to see him to calm him down & becos i missed him lols. we watched americian gangster & then had a lil unhappiness-yy thingy with each other but he sorted it out. & then he didnt want me to leave but i had too. cos it was a SCHOOL night. & he also had to go footy training. so i promised i'll come back tonight .. & i did :] stayed there watching some wierd asian scary movie about dolls. it wasnt even scary. the dolls looked pretty so how was that scary ? & plus i didnt understand what they were saying cos it was in japanese lols.
30/04 - so we woke up early this morning but i was so tired. i slepted all the way till 9something & philong told his mum that we'll arrive at school later on. so when i woke up it was only us home. so the first thing i get when i wake up was philong making fun of me lols. we layed in bed for awhile cos it was pretty cold. cuddling him ^^ & then he went to have a shower while i went to get ready for school. then we locked up the house & started walking. Philong then called his mum & she sed she culd drive us to school since shes on her way home. so we got back to the house, sat outside talking about school till she came. she dropped us off at school & it was the start of major break lols. we werent planning to come that late but i guess we did. & omg i remember in maths while writing down the date that it was my daddys birthday !! but when i got home i totally forgot >< ! i feel pretty bad but on my birthday he took me to centrelink & told the ppl i was 16 that day but never got happy birthday from him either lols. so were even dad ! i had work today also & thank GOD anna came in. cos we had this dine in & i hate doing big dine in by myself. got home & slepted. cos was so tired.
01/05 - pinch & a punch for the first day of the month. lols i didnt get any of those. david brought me in a cake todayyy for my birthday at work. it was nice as ! it was half double choc strawberry swirl & half strawberry cheesecake. omg i loved the chocolate one lols. had strawberries on it =D i love fruit on cream cakes.
02/05 - omg today was the day of my birthday party lols. i woke up at 9 & started cleaning the house. my sister helped me so i thank her for that. i cleaned the pool even though we didnt swim & then went to collect my cake & i admit it looked pretty good. but didnt taste THAT good --'' disappointed lol. i dropped a piece of cake while handing it out. it dropped on my thigh lol & onto the porch >< hope dad doesnt get angry if theres ants everywhere lol. anyways my mum was pretty nice that day lols. anyways we ate hotpot then cake then all the girls got ready to go buddhafest lols. but we didnt end up going. becos cant be fcked. we had to catch two separate taxi's cos all maxi cabs were booked out. anyways no one wanted to go with me & phil in one car but we had the maddest taxi driver lols he was talking about buddhafest & religiion & cultures. & wen we got there we didnt have to wait for long for a train cos a footy game was playing tonight & everyone was going to watch it lols. when we got there we met up with the asian crew LOL was so big. i thought only jason & nammy was tehre. jason gave me my bdae present ( $150 davidjones gift card ) then gave me my bdae card & i laughed ! it was a fat man. but he got all the boys & girls to sign it which was swweeet as. we then went to cindys thing & sed happy birthday & went.

ohs i gotta go. finish next time :)

The sweetness of sweetsixteen.

hahahhas my bdae today yays. one year older =D that makes me sixteen. so today is my sweeet sixteeen lols. juliOh was the first one to txt me & say happy bdaeee. & bich was the first to gimme a bday present. not counting annas one that she gave me about 2wks ago lols. but today was the usual. just im getting older :( im off to philongs house sooon. sleeepover yays ! hahahhas

lols so lemme recall the other days that i didnt blog hahas.
sunday - monday : philong jumped a taxi to come see me --'' ! hahahhas but that is pretty sweet. then he was complaining about the things he does for me lols =P he slepted over. we didnt fall asleep till like 4am. well obviously he fell asleep first hahas like always & not long after i did also. we woke up after 9am. & my parents were awake also but a lil while later they were off to inala lols. so for the first time philong got to rome my house :] we went down to check out the pool. the water looked so beautiful & clear. but what was ruining it was the leaves floating on the surface, so i started scooping them out. after, i stepped in the water & it felt real good. but also a lil cold due to the rain 2wks ago. & thats when philong pushed me in --'' hahahahas. i screamed at him & told him to go get me a towel. he sed he was going too & left to go. i was standing there twisting my clothing tryna get out all the water that was soaked up in it. i started to wonder what was taking him so long.. so i started to walk up & there he was. lying on my porch. looking up at the sky ==
" oh hey there ! ahhhh so relaxing. " was what he sed. i ran up to him & told him to get me a towel ! & so he did while i stood in the sun to TRY & dry up. when i got what i asked for i went into the bathroom to strip off the wet clothing & then walked outside with my towel wrapped around me. he was still standing outside so i went out & told him to come back in before my parents come home & spot him standing out on our porch. " your so gumby ! you dont even know how to wrap yourself up in your own towel ! come ére. lemme do it for you "
i knew i culdnt trust him, cos just when i let both hands go of the towel ; he ran away with it. & left me to chase me. naked. == it was pretty funny though hahahhas hes so cute. i love him so much. & then he left at around 3ish. i walked him up my driveway & up the road a bit. when i kissed him see-ya-soon & turned around to go back home. was adoreable cos everytime i turned to look back he wuld do the same thing hahahas. ngaww. then that was it. fell asleep at 2:30ish for first day of school --''
Tuesday: yerrp. like i sed ; FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL. it wasnt that bad. just hate waking up. found out we have a new english teacher. Ms Saxby == oh i heard she was mean. hope not TOO mean. was just a normal school day. & then i had work. anna came in & soon the boys finished footy & came down to the resturant also. they bought pizza & ate it in a CHINESE restrurant lols. then they sat there making fun of me cos i was getting my learners real soon --'' then they made fun of bao. ( by 'them' i mean philong, roger and sam ) & then soon they ate again cos we had dinner at the restrauant & the pigs ate also hahahahs.
Wednesday ( today ) : got to school pretty late. 9:50am lols. slepted in >< course ="="">
& so its my birthday tomoro hahas. wonder what its gona be like. philong is taking me out to dinner ^^ & then im spending the night at his hopefully. shuld be all sweeeet. HOPEFULLY
well more tomoro. enough for tonight. mwahs x

stupidd rainn

lols i lost my net cos of the storm the other night :( thats why i havent beeen posting anything lately. but not much happened besides me sneaking out for the first time to philongs house & amys party :) her party was goood. a small group of ppl but we liked it like that hahas. played games & ate. most of us went home around 10:30ish and i slepted early but woke up late =S actually i woke up early but went back to sleeep hahas. the other night i sneaked out to go over philongs & left at like 8:30am. lols my parents didnt find out :) was pretty easy. then i saw minh & john in the morning. john slepted over minhs house & they left early to go out for food lols. i was suprised to see them. now im sitting here waiting for philong the fagg to txt back. anyways probably write more later, im kinda tired now. byes x

bad news.

today me & philong went out becos yesterday for the first day in awhile i didnt get to see him :(
so the day started off with me sleeping in & waking up late & spending more then an hour getting ready. Philong asked me to come over first so i did & his brothers & sisters were home :) for the first time i met his older sister & she talked to me a bit. but mostly it was his little sister that i was looking forward to seeing when i got to his house =D she is adoreablee ! she wuldnt let go off me today & kept giving me huggs. it was so cute. philong was probably secretly getting jealous lols. Ohs also found out that philong was leaving to sydney tomoro :( i dont know for how long but it was so sudden. Anyways, when philong finished getting ready we left to go to the party. it was so screwed up. everyone was wasted by 7:30pm & there were fights everywhere --'' it was so stupid. fights betweeen girls & misunderstandings. so we left at 8:30ish cos the party was getting lamee. The only good thing about the party was that I GOT TO SEE PETER AGAIN ! omg i miss the kient so much. & i saw hieu after awhile not seeing him :) he has a different dressing style now. his old one made him look more handsome & attractive though. Well when we left, awhile later found out they got kicked out in the end anyways. so we went to eat & while everyone went karaoke, me & philong went back to my place. We spent some time together before he left to go home. I didnt want him to leave becos yesterday when i didnt see him i was dying lol. so use to getting to see him everyday that when i dont see him the day seems longer. so sydney is gona kill me literally --' but yeahh. i hope hes only going for a couple of days. i dont wana spend the holidays without seeing him. spending time with him makes me really happy. anyways its like 3.04am & im so friggin tired. philong leaves at like 4am ! gonna miss him so much. well im out, nights x

monster vs. linhh

went to philongs house again & his little sister was at schoool :( we went to buy so much kfc but all we ate were the large fries so we brought the rest home for his family to eat cos we culdnt finish it hahahs. then we went to watch monster vs. aliens & it was a pretty cute moviee. then went home about 5pm. saw nga & i waved to her but she didnt wave back --'' & she talks about meeee being mean to her. oh she is still twofacing still ?! i was just tryna be nice cos i thought everything settled abit but i guess not. well bring it. i dont give a fck :)

the cutest girl ever

i went over to philongs house today :) & his room is so neat its not funny. its neater then my room. anyways i meet his little sister & shes is so friggin' adoreable ! i adore her so much ! she held my hand while we went to get her maccas & when we got home she drew me a drawing hahahahhas ! she kept knocking on the door asking questions like how do you spell linh ? whats linhs favourite colour ? & she wanted to come in & kept knocking every 5mins then got angry cos philong kept saying 20mins/10mins. she even stood there counting to 10 & sed 10MINUTES was up hahahs ! nawwww godd she is so cuteeee ! she looks like philongs little brother & i think were going to watch monster vs. aliens together ^^ ! well that was my highlight of the day. & her drawing is going up on my walll.

{ est. 010409 }

urrgh --'' so much assignments and exams. i only got 2hrs sleep last night because hahas philong slepted over again. & we had to wake up early to leave the house & walked to school cos didnt want my parents to catch him with me. so to be safe we left at 6:30 am ! we were the only ones walking to schoool ! talk about looking like nerds == but he asked me out, & i accepted :] we are officially official & i love him oh so dearly. & i can tell he does the same. im not gona write much cos i gotta go check my pregancy test >< im so scared to look at it :( what happens if i am ?! my parents will kill me omgomgomg :( !! wish me luck...



April fools motherfckers ;) hahahahahas im no slut.

a success.

3:36AM is what is stated at the bottom right of my desktop.
today i got to school at like 10am cos i was so tired for last night. One of my bestest friends anna nguyen got into a car accident & i stayed back to help her talk to the police & look after her family. I cant tell you how worried i was about her. Well anyways, school was pretty normal. Actually today wuldve been pretty normal if one thing didnt happen ; phil came over my place. hahahs obviously i SNEAKED him in ! i wuldnt have the guts to let him walk right thru the front door with both my aunty & uncles & parents just sitting there talking. but it was good. phil just got home like 15mins ago. he fell asleeep lol hahahahs. hes so adoreable :]
i love him so much. & i know it for sure. I do still feel bad for her but i know that if i let him go i wuldnt be as happy & might never get the chance back.
its funny cos back then he liked me & he sed to not worry about it cos he'll never get me anyways. & to be honest i thought he was right. but unexpected things happen at the times your least aware of. he was here from 8pm - 3am & im missing him already :(

thuylinhle&philongnguyenforever.

us { est. 1996 }

we cried while we talked. we reminisce while we typed. i miss her while she did too. i hope we slowly sort things out. i hate myself for what i did to you. i really do hate myself. & i am really sorry.

letting it go

i think im over it now, im going to stick with phil through this. In my mind now & then hieu diep pops up. oh godd i miss him so much =( its tragic. but we both know where its gona end again. & we both know whats best. he still likes me.. isnt that sweet ? hes so adoreable i must admit. we had a strong bond. I so dearly miss hieu. but phil is what i need now. phil makes me happy. i shuldnt take him for granted. i should appreciate. & i do.

I know you've probably experienced more hurt then i have ever in my life
cause ive heard your stories, and you can cope with so much, im different, its always been me getting broken up with, unless that person that i loved had pushed me away on purpose.
But when i left you, I chose to let go, I chose to not be with you or have you.
I regret it when im sitting here thinking of you and how you've moved on.
Seeing you close to someone else isn't easy, obviously.
But yeah, if i keep it all in then i wont cause such hassle to you.
Just to let you move on & live your life.

its now & then ?

holding anothers hand while im missing him.

right or wrong ?

so, his name was philong nguyen. we met way before we started to like each other. he first came to my school & dated my use-to-be friend, nga kim. to be honest i thought it was stupid really, i never was into the whole interschool dating kinda thing & basically everyone who knew me well would know that for a certain fact. & so they dated & she would frequently tell me about him & her's relationship. i wuld try to help out but honestly, hahas i was never really interested. Cos i never talked to that guy philong, & another fact ; i hate talking about anonymous people in my life. i didnt know him, i knew OF him. i always refered to him as " nga's bf " even though i clearly knew his name. this is to show how much of strangers we were. & also, i always found nga kinda annoying & immature ( no offence aye ). So anyways, about 10months later, the break up began. & its funny becos i dont remember why but me & phil started talking then. we started becoming ' actual ' friends. Maybe it was becos he came to talk to amy nguyen ( one of my closest friends ) & then sat with us & then started talking to us altogether. & we all started to bitch & make fun about nga & encouraged him to move on. A little flashback detail - * Nga & Amy use to be best friends * I think the break up was something that involved amy too. Well at least nga assumed it was amys fault & philong wasnt taking ngas side for this. So, being friends with phil was normal. I remember pissing him off once cos i made fun of him being ngas bf & he didnt speak to me or anyone for the rest of the day. But yeahh, we became closer & closer reeeeal slowly. But he took it further then i did at the start ; he liked me. & unfortunately his offer was rejected. I didnt see him that way, only as a real close guy friend that makes me laugh. At that time, i got back with my ex hieu diep, & so we dated again for awhile & things became normal again. Me & phil were what i wanted us to be, best of friends. Then came MY turn for the break up. Hieu didnt feeel anything towards me anymore so it ended, just like that. There was little i could do.
It came the night of the school dance :] me & phil went & met up with each other, we spent the whole night acting very " couple-ly ". After that though, we didnt take it any further, just took our time & he was still a close guy friend to me. I guess one of the reason i started liking him was becos he was always there as a friend, though a little bit more, & i was always use to having a boyfriend. I guess he was there for me & i felt very comfortable around him. He always made me laugh & heres another fact for you ; i like guys with humour ;) & so from then on we slowwwly grew. & now were seeing each other.
I know i sed i dont agree with interschool dating & yes how hyprocritical of me, but even sometimes now when i think deeply i ask myself " linh what the hell are you doing --' ? "
Nga started hating me for becoming close to phil but that wasnt a problem for me since i never liked the way she acted anyways. We argued, bitched, anything possible when it comes to girls hating. I had a problem with her & she was tryna act all suckup. I guess she hated me cos i was close to phil. Oh btw, i forgot to mention how much she loved him. It was a lot. & i mean obsessed. she was crazy about him. & till this day ; she still is.

So here i am tonight, after reading the last letter he wrote her when they were together, i feeel stupid ! i might hate her now, & i might like him a whole heap ; but i still feel bad. like i ruined everything for them. He was so into her & she still is into him. they were together, so close. & here i come. i dont blame her for hating me. i wuld hate myself if i wasnt in my own body. I think he does miss her sometimes, i think he just doesnt want to admit it. Everyone tells him to not get back with her, & for the sake of keeping friends & maybe, just MAYBEE for the popularity, he listens to them. I think he does still love her, at least a little. & now im left with not knowing what to do. Maybe, i should leave. Mmm.. im gona have a talk with him. but thats what i feeel for now. thinking negative.

& the wise words of mister tinn.kunn :

(1:06 AM) .tinn-kun™»:	aiish well linh..
(1:07 AM) .tinn-kun™»:	how did you ruin them exactly?

(1:07 AM) .tinn-kun™»: i dont even know how your involved?

(1:07 AM) - MsLi:	i dont know..
(1:07 AM) - MsLi:	i wasnt the reason they broke up
(1:07 AM) - MsLi:	but im his going-to-be nxt gf
(1:07 AM) - MsLi:	.. i feeel bad
(1:07 AM) .tinn-kun™»:	well then why are you sooo troubled about ruining their relationship

(1:08 AM) .tinn-kun™»:				and people move on linh
(1:09 AM) .tinn-kun™»:				soon enough nga will get over him and look forwardto her future life
(1:13 AM)MsLi: -				mmm..
(1:13 AM) .tinn-kun™»:				and besides
(1:13 AM) .tinn-kun™»:				dont think about that
(1:14 AM) .tinn-kun™»:				just care about
(1:14 AM) .tinn-kun™»:				who you love
(1:14 AM) .tinn-kun™»:				if you love phil
(1:14 AM) .tinn-kun™»:				then go for him
(1:14 AM) .tinn-kun™»:				but just ask yourself if hes gona be the right one for you

..hahas gotta love tinnh. adoreable kibum

` the intro

-- thelove :

eyeliner cellphone girls boys music bass fashion shoes
nightimee brandlabels taeyang socialising dresses jeans
parties breaktimes@school dancing lingerie feminine hypo
pianomelody laughter outings cameraclick dressup chrisbrown

-- thehate :

attentionseekers slimybugs goths fullongirly-girls
hardcoretom-boys teenyboopers slownet nobooks pms cockycunts
mydriveway unloyal workingrats homealone overprotective
tcpeople superbad highschoolmusical fags twilightfckers

.. apartofmyheart.

mygirls ~ bich minh nok anna vivienne kylieee ching linhii dalena vibee amy lana emily mimi linda courtney susanna ♥

myboys ~ jason hieu peter justinn darren kevin dkaee nammy tinn dong david.ha ky simonn phammie binh mikeyy lemon lenny bao khoa ♥

mybaby ~ philong nguyen ♥

you guys will always be in my heart
& im there for you just like you are for me
always & forever xo.